Sometimes my factual brain works way harder than my heart. Why is it okay to teach entitlement? No one is entitled to anything…you have to work to make a better way for yourself and your family.

Unfortunately, children are taught different things based on how they are labeled and that makes my heart sad. Life is what you make it. Working hard means mentally, emotionally, financially, physically, etc. I do believe in working smarter, not harder. But that doesn’t mean taking advantage of people or abusing what resources you have.

Please know everyone can have their own opinions on this. I am not say right or wrong just how I view it. One child is not less than because of their background, upbringing from parents, lack of parent involvement, and so many other things.

We try our very best to treat all of our children the same…bio, adoptive, and foster. Let me say we are far from perfect.

In fact, I know what proper terminology means but because love defines our family those titles of children don’t make one child greater than the other. It makes us one family who has a lot of love to share and memories to make. It’s really not about material things to us. If we can get the children nice things, then we definitely will within reason.

Children also should learn about what responsibility means and how that impacts the things you can achieve in life. That includes goals towards special things you may want. You have to plan, save, and continue to reach for your goals for things. When it is not a thing…you still have to plan, be intentional, and continue to work towards your life goals and not give up. And yes that even means when you get set back.

Until next time…much love always!

Foster Care is challenging and so is adoption. You never know the roads in journey until you are on them. Every age has struggles and no one is perfect. No age is better than the other. “I want an infant” or “I want a teen” is really the wrong thought to start with. I want to love a child and help a child make a better way in life.

Believe me when I say…you may want to give up. There are moments of heartache, feeling like you aren’t appreciated, the moment of giving up, etc. But when you stop and think about it children who have experienced certain traumas may not understand and each child has their own struggle in their minds. Is it really fair just to give up and walk away and do what they have been trying to get so far from? Absolutely not!

Allow time for healing for the child. Allow them to be who they are and provide a safe, unconditionally loving, family structure. Seeing life through the eyes of a child that has experienced trauma will be difficult for anyone, even of you have had your own trauma. Having an open mind and heart is a must have.

Have you been ripped away from your parent(s)? Family torn apart? Abused? Neglected? Hopeless? Depressed? Stressed? Suicidal? What’s your story? No story is ever the same and my heart is broken every time a child expresses or tells their story. The pain in their eyes and voices are piercing and make you feel so helpless in those moments.

Reminder we all can be encouragers, supporters, and comforters during these difficult moments. We can help each child rise above the past and build a new future on a more solid foundation. Avoid the cracks in the road, stay on the best path, and repair the road when it is completely broken in two. Support them in their journey wherever that may lead them.

My husband and I never realized just how many ways we could grow as parents. Here we are thinking this how we raised/ are raising our own children, but what about foster children.

When children begin to enter your home, you have to learn about the individual children because each child has a different story, even if they are coming from the same household.

Trauma looks different every time and you as parents have to learn how to adjust and adapt to the best parenting style for each child. This is all done while trying to maintain the same household rules for everyone.

Every child has different needs, struggles, disabilities, backgrounds, and life experiences. Their normal is no where close to what our normal is. It takes a while for them adjust to a new normal and you as parents have to be very patient. It is hard some days and very challenging, but they need us. It also forces us to see life through different lenses and grow in areas we never thought of before.

We definitely are not perfect at being foster parents, but we give it our all and love every child that we welcome into our family. Yes, I said family and not home.

You see we are big on the belief that we make a family and family sticks together! We know that sometimes this is a stop on the path for some children and for others they become permanent in our family dynamic.

It is hard to let them go when they return home or their goal changes, but that is part of the process and journey.

You see getting attached isn’t a bad thing and maybe that is why some people don’t want to be foster parents. People have always said there is a art to letting go. You find ways to keep them in your heart, even after they are gone. You may shed some tears or get upset, but you have to realize this is God’s plan.

So open your eyes to growing as a parent, definitely get attached, and learn to let go and always remember the impact and memories made with each child.

💕Be brave, be strong, be love! 💕

Reflecting on National Foster Care Awareness Month…

Being foster parents is hard, but so is being a foster child. The days come and go and you try to take it all in. One day you have your family and the next day things change in the moment of a call and your family grows in love.

Opening our home to foster children has been a blessing. It hasn’t been without challenge and heartbreak. Sometimes you get super emotional with the process. You know reunification is the goal, but sometimes the goal changes due to circumstances. When the goal changes you have to decide how you would like to move forward with the process…

What is best for the entire family unit? We consider not only ourselves as parents, but our bio child and the other foster or adopted children in the home at that time. That can make things difficult. It is for the best and now you know why I call us Leftwich Blend. A bunch of hearts joined in love doing life together. DNA does not define love.

We have spent many days upset, sad, excited, joyful, mad, and many other emotions due to this process. BUT we wouldn’t change it for the world.

The foster children we have had in our home since we began this journey still all hold a special place in our hearts…all 13 of them. A few are still here and we are enjoying every minute of what I call beautiful chaos. Yes, some days are hard and we may feel like giving up…but, we don’t because we choose to make the best decision we can in those moments. Continue to love and work through the hard moments…

Sometimes it doesn’t work out for our family dynamic and that doesn’t mean we have failed. It simply means we weren’t the parents that those children needed at that time. God has his hands on all the children that have touched our lives and those that continue to touch our lives today.

You may not understand or have the heart for foster care, but there are things you can still do to be a support. It is as simple as prayer. 🙏🏼🙏🏾🙏🏻🙏🏿

Staying Strong with Leftwich Blend! 💯

💕 Much Love 💕

Easter is a very important day to our family. He is risen!

You never realized how much you take for granted in life. Yes, we have all been through some experiences in life that were very trying and difficult. So have the children that you impact when being foster/adoptive parents.

To see the excitement of actually celebrating a holiday on a child’s face (yes even teenagers) is simply amazing! We prepared our Easter as normal as possible with the COVID-19 being an issue at the moment. We did the best we could and I’ll call it a success.

We took family photos after preparing to match and I was the photographer. They turned out so well! We woke up and got to see what the Easter Bunny brought and shared cards with each other. It was a beautiful day! Side walk chalk, did some Easter eggs, had a family meal, took pictures, rearranged some rooms, shared lots of laughs, and ended the evening with a family movie.

Family movie and game nights are something we do often. It is something super neat to do with these kiddos. Every day is new and different and there are many challenges, but it is all worth it.

Seeing a child celebrate a holiday that they never got to truly experience is an amazing thing. It is a beautiful moment in time. Taking steps together as a family. Holidays are really about the children. We have to make it special. We believe that is important. We celebrate every moment as a husband and wife. It is even more beautiful to celebrate moments with our children including our foster children. Celebrating holidays you may have never celebrated before is a blessing.

Our hearts break every time we see the story behind why.

The important part of the process is to accept, embrace, love, care, and be authentic. Every child wants a place to call home. Every child wants someone to care about them and love them. Every child wants to be accepted for who they are as a person.

You have to pick up the pieces of your broken heart and turn that all into love and care. Children are so innocent. They deserve to have a decent life that is filled with love and care.

When you hear each story of why….it is heart breaking. It is heart breaking because it is out of the child’s control. They don’t understand. They are confused. They have a hope that they will wake up from this bad dream and be back with their bio parents.

Unfortunately, this doesn’t always happen. There are many reasons why and why not. The best thing we can do is care for and love the children, as long as God needs us to. Sometimes it is for days, weeks, months, or maybe forever.

Burn out is real, but guess what that’s life. You take a break, regroup, and get back to the family, business, fun chaos!

I am enough…you are enough. These are words no one should ever forget. Some days are easier and you feel stronger and other days are harder and you feel weak or defeat. Get back up…God’s not finished with your life yet because you are still living.

When you find peace with knowing you are enough, you can move forward even stronger and better than you were before.

We may not have enough breaks from each other as some may see. But I view it differently…if you believe you are enough as individuals and put this into a family belief you won’t desire to be apart so much.

We don’t try to push our kids off on someone else. We don’t take constant breaks from each other. Unity is key in marriage and family. We may have moments where we want to hide from the chaos, but all in all we wouldn’t have if any other way.

Our family does our best to encourage, care, love, laugh, cry, and many other things together. We strive to remember we are enough in this moment and any moment we have yet to face!

We will never fully understand why God allows certain things in life or blocks certain things in life.

Commit your way to the Lord; trust in him and he will do this. – Psalm 37:5 NIV

The challenge of being in the process of fostering and adopting is that you have absolutely no control.

No control of the bias

No control of discrimination

No control of thoughts of those making decisions

No control of how others impact the process for you

No control of the final decision

Children also have no control…

Think how scary it must be for them….not knowing where they will be moved next. Knowing of your close friends and family and then all of the sudden the rug is pulled right out from underneath you. Where will I eat my next meal? Will I ever have a family to love me and care for me? Will I fit in? Why do I keep getting to stay with random people for sleepovers? When do I get to feel normal? What happens if I get scared? Who is going to care for me when I get sick? Why aren’t my parents coming back?

We have to ultimately trust His will! We have to also help the children see this as well. No matter what age they are…God has a plan for your life and you have to trust Him!!

💕 Kayla 💕

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When you look a child that is new to your home, you wonder lots of things.

– Do they feel safe with us?

– Do they know we want them to feel loved?

– Do they feel like they can trust us?

– Do they feel accepted here?

We love each other because he loved us first. – 1 John 4:19 NLT

Our family is not perfect, but we try our best to be the best we can for each child that comes into our home. It could be short term, long term, or maybe forever…this part is one moment at a time.

We face many challenges, but we face them TOGETHER! We try to remind each child that we will advocate for you and we want the absolute best life for you.

Having a child tell you they already feel like part of your family in less than a week is such a wonderful feeling. Yes, we fully acknowledge it’s new and things may change overtime.

If you start out with open hearts and minds, then you show the child you are willing to care for, love them, support them, and grow with them. You open them up to trusting your family and feeling safe within your family unit.

Just simply love with every single piece of yourself…every child deserves to be loved!

My husband, our daughter, and I went into this journey of foster care with our hearts open and ready to love children who needed to be loved, cared for, and taken care of. There are things you really don’t understand until you are in this process.

Yes, children have tough moments and you do your best to get through those. Not every child is meant to be in your home forever, but what you have with each child is right now.

Hearts hurt, minds confused, why is this process so hard…

• Would you like moving from home to home often?
• Would you like getting attached to a family for someone else to make another decision for your future?
• Would you like losing children who already have a place in your heart and feel like they belong?
• Would you like seeing the emotions behind their little eyes and know you can’t take their pain away?
• Would you like living in their shoes?

Some ask how can you do this and why do you do this…Because we are God’s hands and feet.

“Each one should use whatever gift he has received to serve others, faithfully administering God’s grace in its various forms.” ~ 1 Peter 4:10, NIV

We were made to love! We have hearts and minds that strongly dislike seeing children suffer at the hands of their situations that are/were completely out of their control.

You may not understand and that’s ok. The only thing I ask is pray for the children, their families, and the families who choose to take steps in this process hoping to love/care for/help children and not realizing how hard it will actually be until their knee deep in and don’t want to turn around…instead decided to go waist or head deep.

💕Kayla💕